Funny enough, choosing a node wasn't such a show-stopper for users ten years ago and before. I've used local email services in my backwater town, hanged out on local forums. The entirety of Fidonet was built on people connecting to their acquaintances—and it was rather popular here almost until the 2000s.
As for the present, I'm sorta baffled that the anarchic dream of decentralization turned into not-quite-that-cool federation where you're tied to an instance, instead of the identity working across the net. If my chosen server goes down, I'd love to be able to just move to another one with my keys.
That's easily done now with personal backups, and can be added onto any federated network that gains enough popularity. Mastadon is probably approaching that.
As for the present, I'm sorta baffled that the anarchic dream of decentralization turned into not-quite-that-cool federation where you're tied to an instance, instead of the identity working across the net. If my chosen server goes down, I'd love to be able to just move to another one with my keys.